No not the show. It's how I feel right now.
Forgive this emo journal, but I'm hoping that by putting my thoughts down on paper (theoretically), I can sort through some of these emotions I am having.
First off, the vacation was great. He had a freakin wonderful time. So much so that I didn't want to come home. I'll talk more about that later when I'm in a better mood.
But as we headed back to the airport, I started to feel this weight on my shoulders. It dawned on me that currently, I am in a really rough spot as far as my art is concerned. I'm no where near where I want to be creatively speaking. I was hoping that by this time I would be working full time as an artist. Either with a studio, design group or some other company. But that is what I thought I would be doing by now. Not busting my ass at a full time job that sucks up more time than it should and trying to squeak in some time to be creative and get my foot in the door of the creative world.
I want so bad to be working for a company like Marvel or DC or Disney or Pixar or Dreamworks. A place where I can go into work and spend 8 hours a day or more just creating art and ideas. Drawing. Painting. Designing. Living. I want it so bad that it hurts. Hurts bad.
But I'm tired. I'm getting older. Time is not on my side. My optimism isn't holding up so well right now. I may have to face the fact that it may never happen for me. And that feeling is crushing me right now.
I quite honestly don't know what to do right now.
I don't know.
I know that one of the cardinal rules of the art world is "don't get discouraged". But I'm only human, and eventually it was going to grind me down. I'm hoping that writing this all out will have some therapeutic effects for me. Rather than keep it bottled up anymore. Then maybe my head will clear some and I can think better.
I'm at a crossroads.

Model: 
Photographer: Frank Roberts
[link] Special Effects: Me
- Albuquerque Collector Con - August 23rd, Albuquerque, NM

I'm putting a hold on art trades temporarily so I can catch up to the ones I need to do.
People I owe Artwork to:

100th Watcher(planning)

Art Trade(planning)

Art Trade (planning)

Art Trade

Art trade

Art Trade

Art Trade

Art Trade

Art Trade

10000 Kiriban

If someone wants to draw me a pic, you can draw any one of my original characters here:
[link] [link] [link] [link]Or any of the following characters:
- Mizuki from Gravion
- Any of the girls from Batman
- Mii from Jungle De Ikou
- Chun Li from Street Fighter
- Morrigan from Dark Stalkers
- She Hulk

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